Negativity is like a virus, once it gets into your head, it can be very difficult to get out. Psychology proves this; studies have consistently shown that for every single piece of negative news or negative thoughts that you have, you require five pieces of good news or thoughts to counter it.
That means if you start your day with a negative thought, immediately five positive thoughts or pieces of good news are needed to counteract it.
This is why, once you start down a path of negativity, it is very difficult to find an escape route. For example, five negative thoughts require 25 good thoughts to counteract them.
I know, how is that even possible?
With effort, that’s how. And there are three key traits that any person who wants to do this needs: number one, an ability to identify external causes of negativity and limit or remove that negativity; number two, the ability to find the positives in everything; and number three, a willingness to actively work towards filling your life with as much positive energy as possible.
Trait one — how to identify external causes of negativity and, where possible, remove them
Self-awareness is everything when it comes to identifying negativity. For example, let’s say you have read something, an important question to ask yourself is, has reading that something brought about a negative mood or a positive one?
If it is a negative one, and you can avoid reading things like this in the future, you have just identified something you can remove to improve your mental health.
But what if you can’t remove it? For example, what if it is your family bringing about the negative mood? Nobody wants to remove their family.
In this case, you need to ask yourself deep questions to help understand why this negativity is occurring. You can then work to limit this negativity, and even if possible, find ways to transform it into positivity. After all, the vast majority of families want to improve their loved ones’ lives.
All in all, the key to this trait is identifying anything that brings about a negative mood and thought pattern. It could be conversations you are having with people, either in person or online; it could be browsing social media; it could be the workplace.
Whatever it is, the key is identifying it, and if possible removing it, and if not possible, finding a way to transform the environment from a negative one into a positive one, or at least finding a way to limit the negativity.
That means if you wish to unlock this trait, you must learn to look within yourself and truly identify what is influencing your moods, why it is influencing your moods, and how you can change this.
Trait two — how to find the positives in everything
Sometimes we just have to accept that bad things happen and the negative energy they bring about is impossible to avoid.
However, what we don’t have to accept is that these negative events should leave lasting marks on us.
For example, let’s say the world is ending, the positive is the fact that you get to witness the world end. Let’s say the sun has exploded, the positive is the fact that you get to witness the explosion of a sun first hand.
It may seem crazy to think this way, but if the world is going to end, surely it is smarter to go down with it on a positive than in terror?
Yep, exactly. And the crazy thing is, no matter how bad something is, it is possible to go down on a positive. This is because positives exist everywhere, and in everything.
For example, let’s say that your partner has cheated on you, it may seem impossible to find any positives in this, but there is one, the fact that you know that your partner has cheated, and so can make an informed decision about what you want to do about it.
After all, would you rather not know?
Some may say yes, which is why you shouldn’t focus on that. Focus on the reality, and embrace it.
Another example, let’s say that your relationship has ended, the positive is that you get to meet somebody new.
Yes, that won’t stop the pain from the end of your relationship, but it will help you see a future for yourself, and a happy one at that.
A final example. Death. Let’s say somebody you love has died; the positive is that they did not have to witness you die. That will provide little respite for the pain you will be feeling, but it is a positive.
I could go on and on, but I’m not going to. The point I’m making is that what you focus on will define your state of mind, and a positive state of mind is a productive state of mind, while a negative one is a destructive one.
And I wish to be clear, a positive state of mind is a choice. Yes, it’s true, you can’t control what you feel, your emotions are their own thing, but you can control what you think. When you realise this, you find yourself in a world where no longer do your emotions control you, but you control them.
Trait three — how to fill your life with positive energy
It’s amazing how many people do not fill their lives with things that make them happy. It’s almost like we get so stuck in our ways that we lose sight of our power to improve our lives.
For example, if close friendships bring you joy, and you do not have any, then seeking out a new social network will be a revelation.
If a relationship is what will bring you joy, and you are not in one, then seeking out one will be a revelation.
I can go on. If holidays are what bring you joy, and you’re not going on them, then working to go on holidays, even if only short ones, will be a revelation.
It really is all about identifying what makes you happy, and then finding a way to make that thing happen. And it doesn’t even have to be big things. For example, if singing in the shower brings you joy, and you are not singing in the shower, then sing in the shower.
If you love photography and you are not doing any, start taking pictures. If you love writing and are not writing, start writing. If you love filmmaking and are not making any films, start making films. If you love acting and are not doing any acting, join a local theatre.
In the world we live, everything and anything is possible if you’re willing to look for a way. And let me be clear, you don’t have to be good at what it is you love doing, all you have to do is do it.
For example, you could be the worst dancer in the world, but if you love dancing and it makes you happy, then dance.
If that doesn’t sell it to you, remember this: everybody is rubbish at everything in the beginning, but through repetition, everybody has the chance to get good. Give yourself the chance, and enjoy the ride. Happiness awaits the other side.
Final words
The key to a happy life truly is accepting that being happy is a way of thinking. And yes, that means being happy can be hard work in the beginning, very hard if you’re a negative thinker, but the harder you work at something, the easier it gets and the better you get at it. And if you’re going to work hard at something, what better thing to work hard at than being happy?
The Knowledge of Freedom 