In my view there is nothing in this world that has the power to make us feel more lonely and unhappy, than sharing it with people who don’t understand us. And it is so easy for such a thing to happen, sometimes literally our lives will be filled with great people, we may think our partner is great, our family are great, our friend network is great, our work colleagues are great.
But here is the thing in my view, and this is probably the top lesson I wish I’d learned when I was younger, no matter how great a person may be, how great people can be, no matter how kind they are, how caring they are, if the people in our lives don’t understand us then the way we feel will be inescapable, frustrated and alone.
Even when alone the rain stops falling and the rainbow forms, but only when you find that someone who sees the same rainbow as you, will the storm truly end.
This fact is not an attack or indictment on the people in your life, they may be amazing and truly have your best interests at heart, but if they don’t get you or you don’t feel like they get you and they truly do have your best interests at heart how you feel will be like said inescapable.
That’s why the most important thing in my view when forming relationships of the deepest and most integral kind, so especially romantic relationships or close friendships, is working out whether the person gets you or not, and if they don’t and you can’t help them understand you, if they can’t join you on your wavelength even if you can join them on theirs, if they can’t join you on yours then you need to find someone who can because the world is and will always be a better place when shared with people that understand you.
And that doesn’t necessarily mean cutting the people who don’t understand you out of your life, it just means making certain that the people closest to you on a spiritual and mental level are the ones who truly understand you, and who you truly understand. It also means making certain that as much of your life as possible is filled with as many people who exist on your wavelength, because the more people on your wavelength the happier you will be.
That means if the people closest to you don’t get you, and you’ve done everything you can to try to help them get you but they still don’t, you have a choice either remain frustrated and alone or do whatever it is you have to do to give yourself a chance to find people who get you. And this is a lesson I wished I learned when I was younger.
Again that doesn’t mean necessarily cutting people from your life, sometimes it does, but not always, most of the time it just means giving yourself the space you need to find and make those connections that will empower your life. The ones that will help you truly grow as a person by being the Yings to your Yang.
And those people are always the people who see what I like to think of as the same rainbow as you. There will be those who are pedantic and say that it is seeing different rainbows that makes life interesting, and that is true, but in my view it is those who see the same rainbow as us that make us feel truly loved, and only when we find the people who see the same rainbow as us will we see the rainbow that truly signifies the end of the storm.
So I guess what I’m saying is in my view, and this is something I wish I’d learnt when I was younger, we are all looking for the rainbow that will end the storm, and that rainbow only forms when we find those people or that person who can see the same one as us. Meaning it doesn’t matter how great people are, how kind they are, what matters is that we connect with them, and they connect with us, because it is connections that bring us happiness and joy and fulfilment, nothing less, nothing more.
And a life full of kindness and great people will create a rainbow, there is no doubt, but only a life full of true connections will create the rainbow we are all looking for. That’s just my view anyhow, and what I would teach my younger self if I ever got the chance to.
That’s all from me for today, stay safe!
This is part of the Life Philosophy series I am writing, a series in which I imagine what lessons I would tell my younger self if I had the chance. To see more from the series see this link: Life Philosophies series