Why do so many women of all ages find what are termed bad boys so attractive? This is a question that many will ask, from the women who find themselves unable to stop falling for the bad boys, to the women who find themselves wishing they were attracted to the nice guys but lamenting the fact that they are not, to the guys who are not bad boys who frequently watch as the bad boys get the girl. But why are bad boys so attractive? What is it about them?
I don’t want this to be one of those posts which talks about how it is the way that they carry themselves, the way that they talk, their abilities in the bedroom, how fun they are, their raw sexiness, the danger factor and all that other stuff which many of these posts always conclude are the reasons why.
And that’s because they are not the reasons why, the reason being they cannot be the reasons why simply because by stating them it begs the question of why are these listed traits attractive to women, the answer being because bad boys have them, which means these traits are not why so many women find bad boys attractive they are simply the traits that identify bad boys as bad boys.
To explain, imagine a man who loves his fast car, ask him why he does so and he will list no doubt many things ranging from its appearance, to its engine, to what it’s like to drive, and yet none of those reasons would tell us why he likes the car, all they would tell us are the traits which he has used to identify that the car is a car that he likes.
Confusing I know, but bear with me, let’s say one of the reasons he likes the car is because it is fast and that is what has drawn him to the car. But why does he like fast cars? He may say because fast cars are fun to drive, but why are they fun to drive, what is it that makes him a person that finds things that go fast fun? Only by answering that question can we ever have a hope of understanding why he likes fast cars.
And the same rule applies for attraction, we list all the things that we like about a person but we never consider why we like those things. And only by considering why we like those things can we ever hope to understand why we are attracted to some people and not others, and the why does not exist on the conscious level it exists on the subconscious. That means it is our instinctual desire which decides who we are attracted to not our conscious mind, which is why despite logic saying the nice guys should be more attractive, bad boys do so well.
With this in mind what I want to talk about is the true reason why bad boys are so attractive, which means delving into the primary purpose of attraction, which is to create children. Which means we need to answer the question of why bad boys are seen as better options on an instinctual level for a woman to have a child with than nice guys? Because that is what is going on here, bad boys are so attractive to women because subconsciously women are being told that the bad boys are the best people to have children with.
Logic says that this reality is ridiculous, and that bad boys could never be a better option to have a child with when compared to the nice guy, but if that was true bad boys would not be so attractive. And as attraction exists for only one purpose, and that is as a means to create children, it is inescapable that if bad boys are so attractive to women it is only because subconsciously and instinctually women are being told that bad boys are better people to have children with than nice guys. Which seems crazy, but is it?
Before answering that question as this is part of the Equations of Life Series, as always I include an equation:
How much of a survivor they are + how good of a parent they will be + how good of a partner they will be = how attractive they are
With that said, let’s get to it. We don’t get to choose who we are attracted to, many of us may wish we could, but we can’t, our body decides for us and it does this by analysing a person’s attributes and then conducting internal calculations in which the outcome will decide whether you will feel attracted to that person or not and if so just how attracted to that person you will be. Or rather it will tell you whether this person can give you a strong child or not, and the stronger your internal calculations show that that potential child may be the stronger your attraction to that person will be.
But this begs the question what parameters do our bodies use to decide who will give us the strongest child, and what does a strong child even mean? Strong in what way? Survival skills is the answer. What we are looking for is a person that can give us a child that has the best attributes to survive in the environment in which we live, and whether we want children or not, can have children or not, that is what drives our attraction to other people.
The reason this drives attraction is because we all subconsciously speaking not only want to survive but want the human race to survive and the only way we along with the entire human race can survive is to pass on our genes i.e. to have children.
So what defines how attracted you are to a person is basically how much your subconscious rates the survival odds of a potential offspring you may have, or rather in a partner you are looking first and foremost for a survivor, and the greater a survivor a person is, the more attractive you will find that person.
This brings us to why bad boys are so often seen as so much more attractive than nice guys, to explain, let’s take James Bond and compare him to a nice guy, drop James Bond stark naked into any environment, from the heart of London to the heart of a jungle and he will not just survive, but find a way to thrive, do the same thing to the average nice guy and it is more than likely that he will meet a rather swift end likely due to the traits which define him as a nice guy.
Therefore, James Bond is not just a bad boy, he is also the ultimate survivor, while the nice guy is more often than not the opposite. That is to say often what makes bad boys bad boys also makes them great at surviving, while often what makes nice guys nice guys makes them terrible at surviving. Not always of course, but statistically speaking bad boys are better at surviving and thriving than nice guys, which is of course why a popular saying is that nice guys always finish last.
This brings me back to attraction, as the purpose of attraction on an instinctual level is to find someone to have a child with, and the most sort after trait in that child is survival skills, would it make more sense to have a child with James Bond who is a brilliant survivor or the nice guy who is not so brilliant at surviving?
That’s why bad boys are so attractive, but nice guys should not give up just yet because it is not quite as simple as that, yes it is absolutely beyond doubt that bad boys especially to younger women are simply more attractive which is why when it comes to sex bad boys get a lot more of it, because they are on a raw attraction rating very attractive, they are after all more often than not highly skilled survivors and whether they be in jail or whether they be in the jungle bad boys have a real knack for surviving which nice guys just plain and simply do not. But a man having genes that give a child a greater chance of having great survival skills is no good if that guy is a terrible parent and partner, this is why on a relationship basis the bad boys are not rated as high.
And this is why I wanted to include the equation at the beginning, because this is where the nice guys can fight back. To recap the equation, it is as follows: how much of a survivor they are + how good of a parent they will be + how good of a partner they will be = how attractive that person will be.
The first part of the equation, how much of a survivor they are, is extremely important hence why initially the bad boys do so well as that factor is what draws both men and women to each other. But the second and third part of the equation are also enormously important and this is how nice guys more often than not in the end get the girl. That is to say in regard to the first part of the equation bad boys tend to score very well, but on the second and third part the nice guys win by a long distance.
This is why on a raw attraction level bad boys are King but in the end more often than not the nice guys get the girl, because nice guys simply make better partners and fathers than bad boys. Or rather James Bond may be able to teach his son or daughter how to better survive than a nice guy, it may be argued that he may even be able to pass on stronger attributes from a genetic standpoint which may aid that child in surviving, but if James Bond is never around to teach that child those skills and to help raise that child then in reality his survival skills are worthless. Which is of course why the most attractive person is a person that scores the highest across all three parts of the equation.
So in one way bad boys are more attractive but in another way nice guys are more attractive which is why more often than not the guy that gets the girl is neither the bad boy nor the nice guy but the guy in the middle, or rather the most attractive guy is more often than not a guy who is loyal and committed and understands that it’s good to be bad but never at the expense of being good. That means the guy that more often than not gets the girl is not the bad boy or the nice guy it’s the good guy.
But to finish on subject, the reason so many women find bad boys attractive is because point-blank bad boys on average tend to score really well on the survival skills front, while nice guys on average tend to score not so well on the survival skills front. And as the purpose of attraction is, whether you want a child or not, to find a person that will provide a child that has the best chances of surviving, inevitably that means bad boys are very attractive. And despite how ridiculously complex attraction is, in regard to the answer to this question, it really is as simple as that.
That’s all from me for today, stay safe!