In the previous post I talked about how to stop people from taking advantage of you, and highlighted how once you start giving something it is very difficult to stop giving that something without causing chaos.
This week I want to drive home that point by further emphasising why you should never give something to a person that you don’t like giving because the moment you do you are setting yourself up for an unhappy ending.
Imagine spending ten pounds to buy eight pounds, any person who agreed to this would be mad. Yet frequently when it comes to relationships this is exactly what people do, the reason being we give people things in the beginning without realising that in doing so we will be expected to keep giving that thing.
For a relationship of any sort to work, whether it be a romantic based one, a friendship based one, a work based one, whatever, it has to be accepted that at heart a relationship is based on a transaction.
That is to say it has to be accepted that if you want something you have to give something, namely, something that the other wants to receive. That something is the price of the relationship. However, for that relationship to be a happy one you have to actually like paying the price.
For example, let’s take a romantic relationship, for both parties to be happy both have to first want what the other has to give, but also want to give what the other wants to receive.
For example, let’s imagine a car and a pump at a petrol station, a car goes to the petrol station, makes friends with the pump and they really like each other.
In the beginning because the pump likes the car, and they have such a great connection, it gives the car petrol, but the pump doesn’t like giving petrol, in its heart, it likes giving diesel.
The car hates diesel, it wants only petrol. Diesel would ruin its engine, the pump really likes the car though so in the beginning is happy to accept this and give it only petrol.
However, as time goes by, the pump starts to feel the imbalance of this relationship, it doesn’t like giving petrol, why can’t the car try converting to diesel, but the car is resolute. It only wants petrol, and argues the pump has always given it petrol, so what is the problem.
The problem is the car is getting everything it wants, it likes the pump, and it wants petrol, but the pump is only half getting what it wants, it likes the car, but doesn’t like giving petrol. But as the car only wants petrol, to keep the car happy, the pump has to keep giving it petrol.
So the pump is giving more than it is receiving, which means in effect the pump is paying ten pounds for eight pounds, which is why it is so important at the beginning of any relationship to make certain that not only is the person giving you what you want, but that anything you give to a person is something that you actually like giving and are able to keep giving, because once you start giving something you will be expected to keep giving it, and no one wants to spend their life paying ten pounds for eight.
That’s all from me for today, stay safe!